Vulnerability at work
This post is going to take some vulnerability, ironically enough. I believe in bringing your whole self to work, and that whole self includes emotional vulnerability (Note: being vulnerable is not the same as oversharing- read this article from Brené Brown for some context on that).
Vulnerability is defined as “the process of acknowledging your emotions, especially those that are uncomfortable or painful”
I lean into vulnerability at work, I am a human who cares about my coworkers, I care about my team, about doing the right thing, and doing a good job. I want people to know that. But frankly, sometimes I wish I could be a robot, it would be easier lol.
Here’s a few ways I am vulnerable at work that work for me:
Saying I don’t know- some people feel that they need to have all the answers. I do not. I believe in asking questions and helping the group get to an answer. I don’t always know and I’ll happily admit that and make room for others to have a voice. Sometimes I even pretend I don’t know so I ask the question that everyone is thinking!
Facing down the tiger: aka Sharing my true feelings on a topic- I am a truth sayer. A kind truth sayer but a truth sayer nonetheless. I attended a leadership development course years ago where we were given plastic toy tigers. Those tigers were meant to symbolize what we think will happen when we leap into a hard conversation (and you think the tiger will eat you). ( 🔥 tip: it’s always harder in your mind). I still have that tiger on my desk today. It reminds me to speak my mind, regardless of risk and face the tiger.
Admitting mistakes- I hate to break it to you, no one is perfect. Not you, not me, not that thought-leader you admire (you can pick whoever that is for you 😀). When I make calls, launch things, and try things, sometimes I don’t get it right. I believe there’s nothing wrong with making mistakes, as long as you admit them, and learn from them. People will remember that you were honest, and ready to learn. That’s where the brave really show up.
Sharing how I feel about a situation- Sometimes work is hard, and it’s really easy to pretend everything is wonderful. But, everyone will see through it. I have found when I share how I feel about something that’s hard with my team, they realize that I get it, that I am not just sugar coating it. But, I do have this annoying habit of always finding the silver lining and pushing through the hard times, but acknowledging the truth helps people dig in.
And finally, crying at work- How could I write a post about vulnerability and not mention crying at work? Yes. I have cried at work and I hate it, but I am not ashamed of it. For those who have worked with me know I have a very long fuse and a pretty high stress tolerance, so when I do, it’s well earned. When I was younger I would try to get out of the situation as fast as possible, but now I get the job done even if I am bright pink and struggling, because I know it means that I really care.
In summary, it takes bravery to be vulnerable. You have to be okay to make people uncomfortable, deal with hard things but also it allows you to connect with people on a deeper level. You’re not a robot, you’re human, truths and all. And I am here for it. ❤️
PS. Over the little while I have been reading Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead. If leading with vulnerability is your thing too, give it a read.